Another Promising Reality TV Show Goes Kerplooie

Generally speaking, I am not exactly what you would call a prime reality TV contestant. I can't eat gross foods at all, so that would keep me away from Fear Factor or any other show that has ripped them off. I am the world's worst liar, and my general lack of drama has keep reality TV show producers from knocking down my door so far. My hopes for winning cash and fabulous prizes seemed hopelessly dim until...

...I saw a new reality TV show on Lifetime that appeared to be made just for me: Gay, Straight, or Taken? The premise of the show is that a woman spends time with three guys and tries to guess which is which. So I'm thinking to myself: man this is good, I don't even have to try to make women think I'm gay. There's got to be money in this somewhere...

So I check out the show's website. As perhaps I should have expected, I am left out in the cold once again. It turns out that the way the show works is that the female contestant tries to pick out the straight, single guy from the three male contestants. If she picks the guy in a relationship or the gay guy, that guy wins the fabulous prize (a dream getaway). If she picks the straight guy the two of them go on the dream getaway. In other words: the straight, single guy needs to convince her that he is straight and single - no points for tricking her into thinking he's gay. Fiddlesticks!

Once again, my ability to foil even the most accurate gaydar proves useless.