Last Post For A While

Hey gang,

I'm only 51 hours away from takeoff, so this is probably the last post here for a couple of months. I will still be posting vis-a-vis The Flying Danish, hopefully my Internet connection will be good enough to post a whole bunch of pictures.

Dear 2012 London Olympic Committee

You know, I always thought of the British as being pretty trendy and stylish and all that. Then I saw the new logo that the was unveiled for the 2012 London Olympics. And all this comes only two years after we were subjected to the euro-banality of Neve and Gliz. Apparently this jigsaw-looking piece of crap is supposed to be be s stylized version of 2012, but really it is just a jigsaw puzzle-looking piece of crap. It cost almost $800,000 to come up with this.

Not only are the advertisements for the 2012 London Olympics ugly, they apparently are dangerous too. It turns out that the television and internet ads, which look like a bad Dire Straight's video, have been inducing epileptic seizures.

Yes Mindy, There Was A Russian Ninja Terrorizing Italy

I was having dinner last night with Mindy Does Minneapolis, and afterwards we went to see my cousin's band The Million play at the Turf Club. At one point, I mentioned that Italian police had recently captured a Russian ninja who had been going around robbing people. Despite her worthy facade of acceptance, I had a feeling she thought I was B.S.'ing her. Not so, true believers! You can read more about the ninja here, here, and here, or you can just Google "Russian, Italy, ninja" and get a ton of articles. To learn more, I also sent an e-mail to AskANinja@gmail, I'll let you know if I get a reponse.

Igor Vaclavic, a 32-year-old former Russian soldier from the Russian army, had apparently spent the last couple weeks roaming the northeastern Italian countryside and robbing farmers while dressed as a ninja. Armed with a bow and knife, along with nightvision goggles and a head torch he had been holding up farmers and demanding cash.

His reign of terror came to an end on Monday, when he broke into a farmhouse and after being startled by the farmer (Giovanni Zampieri) who accidentally discharged his rifle, fled the scene using the most ancient of ninja tools - the bicycle. "The fellow took fright and ran away, slipping on the broken glass from the door, then hopped on a bicycle and went hell-for-leather through the cornfields, riding his bike as if it were a horse." Police soon arrived and tracked him down to an abandoned farmhouse where he was arrested.

Apparently Mr. Vaclavic's ninja disguise had been inspired by his childhood idol, Robin Hood. I guess nobody had the heart to tell him that Robin Hood was not a ninja, nor did he generally steal from farmers.

Match Update

Well, I haven't gotten any response from the hot Estonian babe yet, so I'll have to stick to my actual dating activity.

I haven't gotten any really crappy e-mails like this one, but I have gotten a few weird ones. The best one had no subject line and the only thing it said was "hollow." Not hello. Not holla. Hollow.

I'm still getting about one e-mail or wink a day on average, which seems about right for a guy. Most women I've talked to get between four and five times that many but I don't think as many women use the carpet bombing approach to Match. Lately it's been pretty slim pickings, a lot of people who have a profile that consists of one short paragraph. C'mon people. You would have to be serious hot for me to respond to one paragraph. Other people clearly did not read my profile. One winker's profile read: "Faith is SO important to me. It is the most important aspect of finding a mate. I want someone who can challenge me in my faith and bring me closer to God." That's great but, um, did you even OPEN my profile?

Anyway I'm trying to decide what to do with my profile when I'm in Denmark. I'm tempted to leave it up, so I can meet the requirements of the get-six-months-free-if-you-are-still-a-single-loser-after-six-months offer. Hey, it's still better than the Quizno's if-you-don't-like-your-sandwich-we'll-give-you-another-one offer.

Here are the dates so far:

• The first date was with an Armenian ballet dancer who worked as a French medical translator. She was really nice, interesting, although a little hung-up with the Turkish genocide of Armenians during World War I.
• The second and third dates were with a law student who did modern dance. Good dates but not a lot of spark.
• There was another date with a fellow MBA student which went fine, but there was not a ton of spark there either. There was going to be a second date but at the last moment she forgot that he had to pick up her roommate at the airport. Then she forgot to call me back. Classy.
• The best date so far was with the lionologist. Yeah that's right, a lionologist. I have already nicknamed her Texas, because she has a cute little Texas accent. Really the only problem here is that for the next three months one of us seems to be out of the state at all times. I'll let you know.
• Frog Lady is the last woman of note. We haven't had a date but have exchanged a series of very long e-mails. She is 27, and it looks like I am the first person to point out that she was apparently named after a family of sub-Saharan running frogs. She dropped off the radar a week ago which made me kind of sad, but she just wrote saying she was frustrated with Match and had turned off her profile but to "keep in touch."

Check Yourself

Hahahaha. Oh Drew, you never cease to crack me up.

Hot Russian Babes Heart Match.com

fokinovskaya
28-year-old woman
Colorado Springs, CO, US
Seeks men
Active within 24 hours

From: fokinovskaya (fokinovskay@talkmatch.com)

To: peterpeterbobeter (peterpeterbobeter@talkmatch.com)

Date received: May 24, 2007

Subject: Hi

Hello!

I have seen your profile and it became very interesting to me to read about you. I am an educated girl, with a harmonious body; my height is 5'7", My weight is 120 pounds. I ask you to write me on this email: simekaterina(at)yahoo.com. I would like to send you some of my pictures and I will be pleased to answer you if you write me back.

Faithfully, Ekaterina.

PS I would like to ask you that you wrote to me on email: simekaterina(at)yahoo.com