Rumors of My Demise Are Greatly Exaggerated

I haven't blogged in a while, mainly because I've been busy running around quite a bit. Right now I'm wrapping up getting ready for the upcoming Financial Statement Analysis midterm with the Oscars in the background. When I have the chance, I've got some Ask Dr. Pete inquiries to respond to but for now you're stuck with an "update" post.

Projekt København is in full swing. I'm getting less wishy-washy responses from my boss, and a couple veeps I hadn't talked to about it asked me about it so clearly it was brought up in a staff meeting (and more importantly, not shot down). Of course, I might just quit and go anyway but hopefully I won't have to make that decision. Right now I have to apply for housing and courses, but I'm starting to fish around about travel spots, language, history, etc.

I'm starting to feel better about Financial Statement Analysis. The prof handed out some practice exams that were really easy, so hopefully the midterm will be very similar. Of course I made the mistake of pointing out a number of errors he made so apparently I get to explain the answers to the entire class on Wednesday.

In other news, I have officially joined the rank of spinning nerds. I bought cycling shoes last weekend along with a padded bike seat. For those of you who plan on spinning, I highly recommend buying the shoes. They aren't cheap and they sure look stupid but they make a world of difference. Of course, basically any article of clothing associated with biking is pretty much guaranteed to be ugly (I think that is mandated by some international cycling organization). The seat I'm not 100% sold on the padded seat. It doesn't hurt that the last two Fridays we had a substitute instructor named Chris, who kind of looks like Jackie Warner from Work Out, except younger and better looking.

Yeah! I'm Off to Copenhagen Bitches!

Okay, it's not until this summer and I still have to get final approval from work, but I just learned that I got accepted into the Copenhagen Summer Program. Hooray! It's a six-week program that runs from late June through early August. Unlike most of the two-week programs, this one operates more like an exchange program. You take two classes at the Copenhagen Business School (CBS) and study with students from around the world. There will probably only be a couple students from Minneapolis. It isn't a complete free-for-all though, and apparently there are some organized trips. I talked to one person who went previously and took trips to Norway and Germany. Either way the Danish aren't going to know what hit 'em. Can you say "graded on a satisfactory/non-satisfactory basis?" I knew you could.

Anyway, I don't have much else to report on it at the moment. But I still have plenty to do. It appears that not only might I have to get used to riding an actual bike again, but by the looks of things it might be a good idea to practice my rowing.

Farvel!

The Amazing Laughing Baby

For those of you who have somehow missed the amazing laughing baby, you really do need to check this video out. In case you're wondering I think he's Swedish.

Happy V-Day & Introduction of New Segment

Well, Valentine's Day has come and nearly gone. While you suckers were out pretending to enjoy your candlelight dinners, Valentine's presents, and snuggling with your significant other, I got to enjoy learning about the recognition of liabilities on the balance sheet and income statement and how to adjust for the differences between capital and operating leases. Clearly I am the winner here, despite what little miss come-late-and-leave-early Mindy D. Minneapolis might tell you. Plus, no part of my condo collapsed while I was out, so clearly I am on a major roll here.

Anyway, I am announcing a new segment to the blog, called Ask Dr. Pete. As many of you know, part of the inspiration for this blog was to provide insights on the inner workings of men. Of course, you don't need to limit your questions for Ask Dr. Pete to all things manly. Now I must disclose that I am not actually a doctor of anything, unless you consider smartass-ology an academic discipline. As you know some commentators like to use honorifics in rather deceptive ways. Like say, Laura Schlessinger, whose advice show Dr. Laura discusses relationships and parenting, even though her PhD is in physiology. I guess that would lend a little credence to her "gay people are biological errors" theory though.

Anyway, you can send your questions to Ask Dr. Pete either by sending a question to Official Peter Unzipped e-mail, or you can send them to the e-mail I actually read on a regular basis.

Another Great Day In The Life of Pete

When I was walking home feeling rather exhausted after spinning class tonight, I was thinking to myself: you know, what would be really great would be when I get home I found that one of my cabinet shelves collapsed sending a full set of heavy plates, bowls, and coffee mugs crashing onto my counter top and chipping it in the process of sending ceramic shards around my place that I will be picking out of the rug and my feet for several days. Guess what? That actually happened. Yeah!!

On the plus side it makes for an easy blog post. In the end the damage wasn't too bad. The chips in the counter top weren't huge, and apparently the pile of folded undershirts I left out blunted some of the impact. Hooray for laziness.

That's enough excitement for tonight. Off to start prepping for my Financial Statement Analysis midterm three weeks from now.

Great Places To Not Meet Women

I had lunch today with my friend Kim, who I hadn't seen in a while. We had some catching up to do, including of course relationship stuff. The first topic was of course the fact that her ex-boyfriend of three years not only now works one floor away from me but also moved into my building - specifically my floor. She's now seeing a mutual friend who, while I like him too, is on the polar opposite end of the political spectrum (she's campaigned for several Democrats, he's a hard core Bushie). I gave it until the '08 elections. But back to me and my relationships, or lately my complete lack thereof. Kim is now convinced she is going to get me to sign up with Match.com (maybe another contest will be "help Peter design his Match.com profile?").

I have picked up a few nuggets of wisdom along the way, specifically great places to go if you do not want to meet women. So if your goal is to avoid relationships and the inevitable disappointment and heartbreak, here are some great places to spend your time in the Twin Cities:

1. Grad School - Business school to be specific. Not only is over two-thirds of the student body male, that proportion does nothing but go up if you take Finance or Operations classes. Apparently most of the women go into Marketing or Human Resources.* Add to this the fact that most students are married and it's not looking good. Still I suppose it's better than undergrad. Our unofficial school motto at Carleton was "Where the men are men, and so are the women."

2. Work - Let me tell you nothing attracts the hotties like a conservative financial services company. Seriously I need to get a job at Target.

3. Any Bar in Downtown Minneapolis - I find it very humorous when women tell me about all the bars they go too that are just packed with women. I asked them which ones. For some reason, they can't tell me. Shocking!

4. The Grocery Store - One day my co-worker Paul tried to convince me that the grocery store was a great place to meet women. First off the grocery store is not far from the State Fair in terms of human evolution. Second, I would have no idea how to approach someone. "Say, I see you enjoy soy milk..."

5. The Gym - Another dead zone for meeting women, although this may have something to do with working out downtown which is more of a gay zone. Besides the fact that women don't even outnumber men in yoga class, most women in my experience don't like to be approached by strangers when they are sweaty and half-dressed.

6. Salsa Night At the Quest - Okay, this is a moot point now but in perhaps the epitome of lazy journalism, the City Pages voted salsa night at the Quest the Best Place to Meet Women several years running. Obviously these jackasses had never gone there because anyone who ever had knows that the place was wall-to-wall five foot tall Mexican dudes who appear to have been practicing salsa since birth. On the plus side, you could always find your friends no matter where they were in the club.

7. My Building - Dating someone who lives in your building is always a risky, so it's a good thing that the number of attractive women in my building roughly equal the number of paraplegics.

*Not coincidentally, these are usually the most "evil" departments in most major companies

What Do Men Want For Valentine's Day?

Blow jobs.

News Alert: Local Man Says Weather "Sucks His Balls"

I know, I know, I've been in blog-hiding lately. I think part of it's been the weather. Normally, I'm the last person to complain about the cold, but this stretch is getting to even me. You know it's been cold when 20 degrees seems positively balmy. Plus, as Mindy pointed out I've had my nose buried in Financial Statement Analysis homework for a couple weeks. I'll probably calm down after the first exam. Maybe.

Also, I've been watching the Grammy's for ten minutes and I have another addition to my Most Overrated Babes list: every single member of the Pussycat Dolls.