Valentine's Season

Well, it must be Valentine's season. I can tell this because on my way back to work from Target most of the stores I passed had their Valentine's merchandise on their shelves. I'm not sure how far before Valentine's Day that the hoopla normally starts, but this seems earlier than usual. It was sort of a red, white, and pink ocean full of chocolate, candles, wrapping paper, greeting cards, and other appropriately themed items. I think Target, Macy's, and Godiva were the winners of whatever prize is awarded to having the most Valentine's crap.

I've always had mixed feelings about Valentine's Day. I've always been somewhat of a romantic, although this is tempered by bearing the crushing weight of eternal disappointment so it's kind of a wash. It's fun to dote on somebody, but unfortunately it seems to have been ordained somewhere that I will always be single on Valentine's Day. If memory serves, I think I've been in a relationship on Valentine's once in the past decade, maybe twice.

Shopping for Valentine's presents is pretty easy, but somehow a lot of guys still manage to screw it up. The general secret for gift-giving is pretty simple, I call it "pay attention you dumbass." Women drop hints all the time, both intentionally or not, about what they like. Valentine's is a little hard because gifts tend to be limited to a Valentine's theme. There are some things that should be avoided. Teddy bears are almost always a bad idea,* besides being cheesy it sends the message "I just picked this up from Walgreens." Roses can be tricky. Some women really like them, but for others the message they send is "I spent zero time thinking about what to get you for Valentine's." Tread carefully. Chocolate is almost always a winner. For a number of reasons, a few pieces of fancy chocolate (e.g. Godiva) is usually better than a huge bag of Hershey's Kisses. I like to make care packages full of red and pink stuff: licorice, cherry lip balm, cinnamon gum, lotion, some red M&M's, some red wine, a candle, and an assortment of other little things. Maybe throw in a copy of D.J. Mindy's latest CD, Feeling Frisky? or mix a CD yourself. Jewelry is usually a winner, although might be a little awkward in a new relationship unless your girlfriend is a ho. Lingerie and sex toys are somewhat of a danger zone - I would enlist the help of a female friend if you're going this route. Please feel free to send any questions you have to Dr. Pete. Also, if your lucky, maybe some of the ladies around here will help you out.

Here is a gratuitous photo of two boston terriers. Awwww...

*If your girlfriend would like a teddy bear for Valentine's this means either (1) you must break off the relationship immediately or (2) you are eight years old