What I Really Wanted For Christmas

As many of you know this year the Christmas season was a little drab with me coming down with strep throat and various other potentially life threatening illnesses. My Christmas shopping experience was basically non-existent, and like they say when you don't giveth thou shalt not receiveth... um... much. Or something like that. My parents sent me some neat stuff and a check for home decorating, and my brother and sister-in-law got me an iPod Shuffle, and my friend Jacob and his family got me some hot sauce and some chocolate. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't get the one thing I was really hoping for. What's that? TRUCK NUTZ. Yes you heard correctly. Truck Nutz. Okay so maybe I don't own a truck, but you don't need a truck to enjoy these babies. According to their website, you can get "properly sized Nutz for motorcycles of all sizes, trikes, ATV's, golf carts and similar sized rigs." You can even get them in key chain form.

But sooooome people just don't get it. Maryland delegate LeRoy Myers is trying to introduce legislation that would ban Truck Nutz and other displays of anatomically correct human or animal genitals on motor vehicles. I have one thing to say to delegate Myers: GET OFF MY NUTZ.