Elevator Etiquette, Part II

Today I would like to talk about the topic of elevator etiquette. In case you are wondering why this is part two of an apparently one part series, this is somewhat of a continuation of an article written by my friend Mindy you can find here:

Mindy Does Minneapolis: Elevator Etiquette

Since she has thoroughly covered the topic of passing wind in the elevator, I would like to move on to another epidemic: namely, people who pretend not to see you coming and don't hold the elevator for you. While there is the rare offender who has the balls to do this while looking right at you, usually this discourtesy is accomplished by maneuvering oneself in the elevator so that it appears that you did not see the other person coming. If this describes you, here is a clue: you are not fooling anyone. We know that you know we are there. Besides having to live with the fact that you are a jackass, imagine how dumb you are going to feel if I can get to the button before the elevator door fully closes. Really dumb, that's how. At this point, keep your mouth shut because whatever is about to come out of it is guaranteed to be stupid.

The amazing thing about this is that people seem to do this pretty much everywhere. It's bad enough to be rude to someone that you will likely never see again, but I see people pull this stunt both at work and at home. I mean, lady, we live in the same condo. On the same floor. I will see you again, and when I do I will be thinking to myself "oh, it's the lady who couldn't be bothered to hold the elevator for five seconds. What a jerkoff."

People, you need to realize that this kind of stuff will be the lens through which the rest of us will see you in future interactions. So stop pretending you can't hear my flip-flops from fifteen feet away. Show a brother some courtesy and hold the darn door. It will win you brownie points and you never know when you're going to be able to cash them in. That is until you do something stupid like say, fart in the elevator.