"Return on Success" Garners Lowest Approval Rating Among War Slogans

Washington, DC - In another setback for the President, a recent Zogby poll showed that the new slogan "Return on Success," unveiled September 13th, has only a 22% approval rating among voters. Unlike previous slogans, such as "Mission Accomplished" (88%), "Stay the Course" (72%), and the lesser known "Adapt to Win" (55%), "Return on Success" has failed to capture the hearts of Americans. While some critics said that the slogan failed to resonate because it was misleading since the troop draw down was inevitable no matter what Bush wanted and that the surge strategy has failed to meet most of its benchmarks and that the President has steadfastly refused to even define success, pundits think its failure to resonate is more elemental. "One word: lame," said one prominent Republican strategist who asked not to be identified. "This is the guy that brought us bold pronouncements such as 'Plan for Victory' and 'A New Way Forward,' and this is the best he can do? It just makes him sound like a huge pussy."

In other news, rumors are swirling around the blogosphere that Internet sensation Peter Unzipped will be launching a contest soon to help Bush select his next slogan. Peter Unzipped could not be reached for comment.